Caffeine-addled ramblings, rants, and random thoughts about my life in pursuit of utter awesomeness and general kickassery.

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Tuesday, March 31, 2009

1 Girl 750 Cups

The new girl in my office told me she wanted to prank a guy named Eric for April Fool's. Eric's the OCD one, the kind of guy that flips if everything isn't at a 90ยบ angle. She wanted to Post-it his office. That sounded like fun, until it occurred to me... SHE'S the new one.

We work in a very conservative office (read: full of old guys) and just recently a newer generation has been coming in. Pranks were not really the norm.

Until now.


Here's her office.
Very orderly...

Very neat and tidy....

That simply will not do.

The materials:
400 12oz plastic cups
162 9oz paper cups
200 3oz paper cups
one 3qt pitcher
WAAY too much time on my hands.

Starting to lay them out in an orderly fashion

And then the floor

Still moving around the desk. I assumed I wouldn't have enough cups, and I was right. I should've doubled the plastic ones. But I pulled it off by spreading them just far enough apart so you can't get a foot between them.

Executive decision time. I couldn't fill the floor as it was, so I took off the cups from the back table and replaced them with paper. The open spots were for my big caveman feet to move around.

And on to the desk...

And the back table was transformed into...

wait for it...

At this point I started pouring water into the cups. Only about 1/4 full. I wanted to put in just enough water to be annoying (Bear in mind that the nearest sink is over 40 feet away down the hall).

My crowning achievement. For safety reasons I left the cups ON the desk empty.

It took about 8 trips with the pitcher to get water in all of them.

And I still didn't know what to do with the rest of the tiny 3oz cups, so I made a little patio inside the door.

I win.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Ben Harper is a Chick Magnet

Any of you PBS watchers have to know about Austin City Limits. It's been going on for 34 years, with big names playing ranging from Stevie Ray Vaughn to Van Morrison to Norah Jones.

And I'm going.

More specifically I'm going to the taping of Ben Harper and Relentless7 tomorrow.

Lillith also scored tickets, so I was planning a double date. Unfortunately we are both single at the moment, so the problem of finding dates came up.

And this is where Lil becomes lame. She didn't want to find a date on short notice, and also didn't want to be a third wheel. So she's not going.


(In her defense she's not feeling well either, but still.)

Anyway, Dateless B did what you do when you need a date fast... Craigslist.
I put a quick post saying I have tickets to see Ben Harper around 3 yesterday afternoon, and by 10ish had at minimum eight responses. and even more by the time I got to work this morning.

Apparently Ben Harper makes girls happy in their naughty bits.

By lunch I had put together my finalists, three that A)sent pictures, B)were cute, and C)didn't seem too much like serial killers. Now any normal person would simply have them all meet in the Pit of Doom and have them fight to the death. But I'm more civilized. I had Lillith and Anna Rosannadanna send me their choices, and then I picked the cutest one.

Grats to Noe (no clue if that's her name, handle, or a word she plans on using).
See you tomorrow night.

Oh, and Lil....


Thursday, March 19, 2009

More Rules

Since I posted my rules for life, I've been getting bombarded by more, both personally and from others. Thanks to everyone. Keep sending them in!

Rule 100. There’s always a better way.
Rule 101. You cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
Rule 102. Spend more time with people over 70 and under 6.
Rule 103. Life is too short to spend angry.
Rule 104. Nobody takes you as seriously as you do. Stop it.
Rule 105. Your journey is yours. Don’t compare it with others.
Rule 106. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, open that bottle of wine. That “special occasion” you’ve been saving those for is today.
Rule 107. People only have as much power over you as you give to them.
Rule 108. Being able to forgive is the greatest power you have.
Rule 109. No matter how much you care, some people are just jackasses.
Rule 110. It takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
Rule 111. Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
Rule 112. It is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.
Rule 113. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Rule 114. There is a fine line between genius and insanity.
Rule 115. What other people think of you is irrelevant, and none of your damn business.
Rule 116. Give time, time.
Rule 117. If it’s not useful, beautiful, or joyful, get rid of it.
Rule 118. Do the right thing. Always.
Rule 119. Be grateful and thankful.
Rule 120. Enjoy the ride.


I stumbled across a post by Merrick over at Ain't It Cool. Apparently someone got his grubby little hands on the script for the next Muppet Movie.


A short excerpt (SPOILER ALERT):

"When Kermit decides to get the Muppets back together, he sends out the Muppet signal, ala the bat-signal. We then see where all the Muppets are and what they're doing. It's also a very funny sequences. Rowlf is working in a Kinko's run by cats. Gonzo is a crime fighter (including a cameo of Christian Bale in full Batman costume). The Electric Mayhem are performing in some dive bar in Alaska. Animal is in a celebrity rehab center for anger management."

This makes me happy on the inside.

I agree with TGG on this one. The last few Muppet movies were lauded with a thundering "meh," although I do have a love for the "cabin fever" scene in Muppet Treasure Island. Regardless, those last few ones missed the point of the Muppets.

They should be light, fun, and downright silly. This one looks promising.


Yes, I do own this shirt.