Caffeine-addled ramblings, rants, and random thoughts about my life in pursuit of utter awesomeness and general kickassery.

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Thursday, August 7, 2008

Tenacious B, You Have a Match!

I've been signed up on a certain dating site for a while. There are a few possibles, but the bar is raised pretty high.

Anyway, after answering the same questions over and over I've started to get bored with the same answers and actually send my kneejerk responses. Funny thing is, I get more of a response when I'm being my normal smartass self.

So, here's a list of answers I've actually sent (all E) and gotten responses...

When in a relationship, how much personal space do you generally find you need?

A) I don't have a great need for "personal space". I like lots of together time.
B) I find my time spent working is enough personal time, the rest I like to spend with my partner.
C) As long as I can get one night a week to myself, my personal space needs are met.
D) When I'm with my partner I'm completely there, but I do need considerable time for personal reflection.

E) 2.67431 cubic meters (at sea level).
E) When I'm not battling space ninjas for the fate of the Earth, I enjoy spending time and sharing with who I'm with.

Which of the following things would you rather have lots of?

A) respect
B) money
C) fame
D) power

E) sheep.
E) minions
E) tacos

If you had to characterize the end of most of your romantic relationships, they would be described as:

A) pleasant as breaking up can be, with both people feeling it was the best decision
B) sad, with one partner being hurt and feeling betrayed
C) very dramatic, with lots of hurtful accusations
D) angry, with lots of feelings of disappointment

E) With blood.

E) Minor, since they never found the bodies

How would you assess your verbal intimacy skills?

A) I am extremely comfortable talking about my innermost needs and desires.
B) With the exception of a couple areas, I'm comfortable being verbally intimate.
C) I'm still learning to be verbally intimate, but my skills are improving.
D) It's hard work for me to discuss my intimate feelings.

E) I am open and honest to a fault. Try to not ask me if your ass looks fat in those jeans.
E) I will speak my mind, but only in a combination of semaphore and braille.
E) with grunts and wild, complex hand gestures.

Do you consider yourself physically affectionate when involved in a relationship?

A) Sure, I love to hold hands, hug and give casual kisses.
B) I'm moderately affectionate. I like to hold hands and exchange hugs.
C) I do like a small amount of physical affection.
D) I don't consider myself a very physically affectionate person.

E) I am a hugger, hand-holder, kiss-stealer, dance-in-the-middle-of-HEB-when-a-good-song-comes-on type of guy. But don't worry, dry-humping in the middle of the produce section is out... usually.

Your idea of adventure is:

A) whitewater rafting
B) karaoke singing
C) trying a different route to work
D) ordering a dish you've never tried before

E) Battling nazis and dodging bullets in the quest for the Mighty Plunger of Quetzalcoatl

Which of the following scenarios would make you more nervous?

A) making a presentation to 500 people
B) a long car ride with a person you just met
C) talking about your deepest fears with your lover
D) meeting with the president of the company you work for

E) Being trapped in a closet with snakes, a puma, and several riverdancers
E) Dropping the soap in a Turkish prison