Caffeine-addled ramblings, rants, and random thoughts about my life in pursuit of utter awesomeness and general kickassery.

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Monday, June 30, 2008


So I spent some time at the lake with Lil this weekend. And my skin has surpassed the salmon color to more of a firetruck. Even the slathering of SPF 50 could not keep the little roast timer embedded in my skin from popping out.

So my shoulders and face are reddish, but the worst are the tops of my legs. I'm doing the Frankenstein walk. So much that I had to cancel a much anticipated (first) date for tonight.

Oh well.

I was asked what I burned this morning. I snickered and promptly said (with the appropriate dance moves),
"Heads, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes.
Heads, shoulders, knees and toes"

I crack myself up.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Douchebag of the Month!

Just got back from a four-day business trip. Going to bed now.

But in the meantime...

Found this over at our friends at Hairyballsack

Here's the background story: Okay guys here is the info on this voicemail. One of my friend's from work and her friend were out one night in the SF Marina district and were hanging outside of the bars trying to find a cab. One of the girl's, Olga ends up meeting this guy Dmitri and they talk for at the most 2 minutes. She hands him her business card and says call me.

Well attached is the actual voicemail that this guy left her. Wait till you hear it you will be laughing so hard you'll fall out of your chair.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Farewell To A Legend

Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, and Tits.

George Carlin died today at 71.

He was an incredible talent and he made the universe a better (and weirder) place by being in it.

You will be missed.

And God, if you're listening...
try not to piss him off.

Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, and Tits indeed.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

I Know, I Know

I'm in the middle of the busy season at work, with traveling and whatnot.

So here's something to make you giggle.

'Warcraft' Sequel Lets Gamers Play A Character Playing 'Warcraft'

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Duck Tales

I needed this today...

Back story: In case you can't tell, a cop stops traffic to allow a family of ducks to cross the road.

Bravo for the other motorist that stopped too.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Secret Origin Of Satellite Dog!

I broke my dog.

A couple of weeks ago I met Pepper for coffee and took the Murph. We walked around, let him bark at statues, and allow all the little kiddos a chance to pet the sweetest dawg around.

The next day I noticed he was licking his back left paw a lot. I thought nothing of it until I saw him limping a bit. On examination I saw that he had somehow scraped the pad on his foot. I cleaned it up and it didn't look that bad. I decided to let it heal to see what happened. I wrapped it up (the bandage usually stays on him for almost a minute). Boy has feet issues. It got better (as in he was walking around on it just fine) until last weekend. He was okay except for when he was walking in the grass.

Saturday he was fine, we were wrestling and he was running around like the normal lunatic he is. So yesterday I was on my way to Lil's place and he started doing the "tripod" thing. I looked at his foot and he had licked it back to injured. He was one hurtin' cowpoke.

So today, enough was enough. I stopped off and bought an E-collar during lunch. I know he'll be fine if he would just leave the damn thing alone.

I didn't really realize how much it was bothering him until he growled and was doing his junkyard-dog impersonation as I wrapped his foot. Anyone that knows him is aware of how mean he is (totally NOT).

Upon returning to work, he turned from mild-mannered puppy to...



Satellite Dog is not amused.


I broke my dog.


Tuesday, June 3, 2008

I'm A Bad Blogger

It's been a while, I know. I was sans internet for a while and haven't had time to blog from work. It's the busy season right now.

But I'll be back soon.