Caffeine-addled ramblings, rants, and random thoughts about my life in pursuit of utter awesomeness and general kickassery.


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Saturday, December 29, 2007

Awesome

Took care of quite a few things this morning...

And I deserve this.

Friday, December 28, 2007

My Loony Bun Is Fine Benny Lava!

Working on a few big posts...

So in the meantime enjoy some soothing music courtesy of me!

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Have A Very Geeky Xmas!

A Very Murphy Christmas

I want to reiterate that Murphy's a funny pooch.

Last night I wasn't at my best. I had made dinner, put in some movies and had a few (read: a lot of) drinks. I fell asleep on the couch somewhere during the second feature. Now through the first movie, Murphy was asleep on my legs. But towards the end he got up, glared at me a sec, and said, "screw this, I'm going to bed." And he did. Stopped off to get a quick sip of water and then headed upstairs.

Sometime later, I must've turned off the tv and decided to just sleep there, because I was awakened at 3am to a pitch black room and a cold nose on my cheek. It was similar to the times that Jean would come into the computer room and say, "Honey, it's late. Come to bed."
Hell, it was EXACTLY like that. Murph nudged me a few times, and then stood at the foot of the stairs, waiting. He didn't move until I walked over, and then he silently followed me back upstairs and jumped into bed, falling immediately asleep.

It was that point that I knew for certain that he was happy being here, with me. That's a good feeling.

Anyway, he was pleasantly surprised when he woke up again that Santa had left a Kong, a chewy and a tug rope for him right on the bed. He yawned, gave me a wink and licked the hell out of the chewy until he fell asleep again with it in his mouth.

Off to make breakfast for about 80 people downtown. I 'll check with you later.


UPDATE: I just got home to take a shower and pick him up, and he was asleep on his blankie, his head resting on all three presents in a pile. Too bad he got up before I could get out my camera.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Merry Christmas Eve

Heading over to ChaCha's to exchange gifts this afternoon (BTW, I'm going to win again. Did I tell you I give kickass gifts?), and then back home to watch movies with the Poot.

Like I mentioned before, this year the holidays are a non-event for me. After listening to Christmas music constantly, plus the shopping, the wrapping, the giving, I still can't really get into it. Maybe seeing ChaCha will help.

Update on tomorrow: I got a call from my oldest sister, inviting me to join them for dinner. I may go after my volunteer stuff. I don't know what prompted it (my guess is my Mom said something to her), but even if it is a pity ploy I appreciate it. Those of you that are familiar with me know that I'd normally stay at home just on sheer principle. However, I could use the company and it'd still prove to be fun. I'd Love to play with my nephew and niece, PLUS they live out in the country so Murphy would have a blast running around like an idiot, barking at cows and finding dead stuff to roll around in (he's done that before. It took three baths to get the smell out).


Anyway, Happy Holidays from my home to yours.

Ho-friggin-ho

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Grammar Lessons For Gamers

From Last Night.

P.S. This guy was spamming/begging for help all night. I got tired of it.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

YARR... Me Be In Trubble

Now that I'm off for the holidays, I decided to finish up some projects I've been putting off for the longest time.

One that I've promised for ages was a Jolly Roger Shower curtain for a friend's pirate-themed bathroom. Originally I thought this would be easy. A search online found none. The closest thing I could get was this:


Which is just wrong on two levels. First of all, I don't do vinyl. Period. Secondly, it's...well... gay. I mean look at it.

The next idea was to find a 6x10 flag, add some metal grommets, scotch guard the whole damn thing and be done with it. That'd be fine, but the largest flag I could find was 3x5.

So ideas were running short. Then I got a DIY bug up my butt and said, "To hell with it, I'll make one myself." After scouring the hobby shops, the Targets, the Wally World, and the home furnishing stores, I finally found a black polyester shower liner at BB&B that may work. I ran back to the hobby store and grabbed a couple of bottles of white fabric paint, a brush and four poster boards for making a stencil.

That was a couple of months ago.

Fast forward to today. I was feeling like crap. Sore throat, aches, coughing. So much so that I had to cancel a date I've been trying to get for weeks (And note to Miss Presley...I am sorry). So i decided to take my mind off it by working on this project. The only place I could possibly consider doing this was on my dining room table.

COMMA

With all the presents I've bought/made for the holidays, my table looked like an elf threw up on it, so I did the next best thing. I went to work. Luckily I live across the street from my office, so I could jump over there in a couple of minutes. My boss just changed offices, and his old one was perfect for this project: two large empty desks, and it didn't hurt that I was the only one in the building.

I duct-taped the four poster boards together and printed out a jolly roger from the web. Sketching out the stencil turned out pretty well considering I used a graph method and eyeballed the thing. I was even careful to keep a piece of cardboard when cutting out the pieces beneath it to avoid scratching the desk. I like the woman that's going to be taking over that office, but she's the type you do NOT want to piss off.

Having finished the stencil, I secured it and proceeded to swath copious amounts of paint over the open areas. I wanted it to look weatherbeaten and older, so I put just one layer over it and blotted it with regular dry paper towels when it got tacky.

After all was said and done, it turned out pretty well if I do say so myself.


The white areas look a lot whiter in that picture. In real life it looks faded.

So allowing myself a break, I ran downstairs to have a smoke (I know, I know) while waiting for the paint to tack up a bit.

I decided to take it into my office and let it dry overnight. So I lifted the cloth up off the desk and a familiar feeling made my heart stop a bit.

~~~~~
I remember one time when I was about 12, I was playing with matches and lighter fluid out in the back yard (I was the only one home). One thing led to another, and I started a minor grass fire. it was put out rather quickly, but at that exact moment, I heard my Mom's car pull up the drive, and knew that I would have to explain how a ten-square-foot patch of grass suddenly looked like the beach at Normandy.
~~~~~

Yeah.



I got THAT feeling.



That big "OH SHIT" moment.


Why? you ask....









...









Wow.


Silly me for thinking that paint would gush through something designed to be water-resistant.

Honestly, it looked kinda cool, but doesn't really portray a "professional" image, in particular since our company does contract work for government taxing agencies.

I never moved so fast in looking for cleaning supplies. I grabbed a roll of paper towels and located a bottle of Windex, which worked out better than you would think. I got most of it off, and luckily I have another week and a half to go back over there and clean off the remaining white specks.

Anyway, my project is done, and I had enough adrenalin left over to clean up the evidence and get home just in time to pass out exhausted on the couch.


Yarr.

Survivor, Texas Style

In my email today. Thanks, Howie!

Survivor, Texas Style



Due to the popularity of the Survivor shows, Texas is planning to do its own, entitled Survivor - Texas Style. The contestants will start in Dallas, travel to Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston and down to Brownsville. They will then proceed up to Del Rio, on to El Paso, then to Midland, Odessa, Lubbock and Amarillo. From there, they'll proceed to Abilene, Ft. Worth and finally back to Dallas.

Each will be driving a pink Volvo with bumper stickers that read, "I'm gay", "I'm a vegetarian", "I voted for Al Gore", "George Strait Sucks", "Hillary in 2008", and "I'm here to confiscate your guns!" The first one to make it back to Dallas alive wins.

Friday, December 21, 2007

Holy Shit...

The long-time readers will remember the "Bukakke Brand Milk" vid I posted sometime back in 1955. Funny enough, recently that post has been making the rounds on several forums, including Fark, Ezboard, and I-am-bored. I wouldn't have even noticed, but I was checking my stats and got over 600 hits on one day (normally I get anywhere from 80-120). And now the "Machine Girl" clip is making the rounds.

But anyway, congrats on whoever stopped off from Canada yesterday on being unique visitor #10, 000 to Waiting For Coffee. If you shoot me an email with your mailing address (and if I can verify your IP), I'll send you somethin purty.

For everyone else, Thanks a million for stopping by. Love you all.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

It Finally Hit Me

Wow.

I'm jazzed, and a little thrown off.

I mentioned before that I got my tax ID for my new bidness. Those entrepreneurs that are old hat at this probably don't get the excitement I have right now and can probably skip the rest of the post.

But anyway, on Monday I got a letter from EFTPS (Electronic Federal Tax Payment System). Since I had already received my ID, I was curious about what else I could be getting. Right away the wee little pessimist inside of me was halfway expecting a "your tax ID has been withdrawn because of new evidence uncovered that you are a tool" letter.

But it wasn't. I opened it and had to stare at it for a bit to let it sink in. It was info and my PIN for depositing withholding taxes for my employees. Read that again. MY EMPLOYEES. That's when it hit me.

I mean, I don't have a business plan, grant, website, etc yet, but they're informing me about MY EMPLOYEES. That's a good feeling.

Maybe it's that, maybe it's the caffeine, but I'm a little giddy about the process.

I'll let you know when I'm hiring.

EDIT: BTW, I registered my domain this morning. I'm guessing I'll be ready for clients within a few months.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Love It

I'm having fun playing around with the game Portal on Halo 2: Orange Box lately (which I obtained by perfectly LEGAL means, NOT by DOWNLOADING the content via TORRENT. Yarr).

Anyway, this has got to be the coolest poster ever.



Sunday, December 16, 2007

10 Things I Learned This Weekend

NOTE: I have found it is not only the duty of an ├╝ber-blogger such as myself to entertain, but it is their responsibility (Yes, responsibility) to inform, to advise, and to educate betwixt all of the boob jokes.

It was a pretty eventful weekend. I cleaned and hauled a couch upstairs that had been previously been ravaged by ChaCha's cats (and yes, it's in my office and does NOT smell like cat pee. My truck on the other hand...). Yesterday afternoon I went over to my friend Lilith's, wine, dog and presents in hand for a wrap party. Today I spent most of the time trying to get those last few gifts so I could be done and finally relax.

So here's what I learned from the past few days...

  1. No matter how much a good idea it seems at the time, foam rubber does NOT belong in the washing machine. Ever.
  2. It takes forever for foam rubber to air dry (I wasn't going to tempt fate with the dryer).
  3. Something that by all accounts appears pure white does NOT mean it's clean.
  4. Don't think you can drink wine and wrap all your gifts.
  5. No matter how careful you are with wrapped gifts, if it is physically possible to punch through the paper with your thumb, you will.
  6. Whoever thought it'd be a good idea to make wrapping paper that you can SEE THROUGH, but not until you're finished wrapping the gift, should be fed to rabid weasels.
  7. No matter how common you think an object is, you will not find it until you have searched at least five stores in different parts of town.
  8. Dogs cannot be trusted when not in the same room. At any time.
  9. Coffee grounds do not vacuum up well.
  10. Neither does dog vomit.
That's it. Other than that, it was a great (yet tiring) weekend.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Support Our Troops... Until Wounded

Soapbox time.
I stumbled across a horrific article about how the military treats our soldiers.

Imagine this...

For sense of duty, honor, or whatever reason, one decides to join the military (BTW:I salute you, as I could never do that). Once you enlist, you receive a $10,000 enlistment bonus. You get assigned to a war zone, conflict area, etc. where you subsequently get wounded and honorably discharged.

Soon after, you get...
a bill from the Pentagon demanding the prorated enlistment bonus back.

Really. THIS is how our government treats the soldiers that have made incredible sacrifices.

I am TOTALLY not making that up.

Click Here to read the story.

Being Outnerded En Masse

Sometimes I'm proud of being a Uber Nerd God.

Sometimes I'm proven I'm not.

It's at times like this I'm happy to relinquish the title...



Thursday, December 13, 2007

They Had Me At "Drill Bra"

I am SO going to go see this when it comes out. Who's in?



The Machine Girl... Coming soon.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Holiday (non)Festivities

Word just went out that because of the MAGNIFICENT management of my company, there won't be a company Christmas party this year.

It's not that I'm too upset about it. Spending three (pretend jolly) hours with middle-aged people I really have nothing in common with and no alcohol is never a fun time.

But still...

I'm having a hard time getting into Christmas this year, and that might've helped. If you set aside the Agnosticism and the issues I have with commercialism and religion, I really like Christmas. It's a time of the year when people are a little bit nicer, there's more community, more sharing, and we spend time with those we love.

Maybe it's because this will be the first time in eight years I'll be single and alone on Christmas. What I'm really going to miss the most is having someone there with me that morning, to look into her half-closed eyes and whisper, "Merry Christmas, honey." But this year it'll just me and the pooch, kicking it. My family will be having ours on the 30th. In the meantime, my sisters and friends have their own family goings-on, my parents have stuff they're doing. Granted, I can probably head to San Antonio and hang out there in the afternoon but that'd probably depress me more.

So here's my plan for Christmas morning: Wake up whenever, take Murphy for a walk, snuggle up on the couch with a pot of coffee and a kung fu movie, then go do some volunteer stuff somewhere, and let Christmas go.


This is by no means a "Bah Humbug" moment. Simply a non-event.


And Happy Holidays to you all.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Moving Forward And Upward

Yesterday I received a letter from the IRS. I know, I should've opened it right away. But because of stuff with Jean's family I get a lot of those.

So this morning I decided to open it up, just to see.

It was my Federal Tax ID.

For my business.

The one I've been promising to start for the last year.

Yeah, I stared at the letter in disbelief for a sec, while my brain tried to flip it over in my mind. Finally it sank in.
According to the Federal Government, I am a business owner.



yay me.

Good Morning!



Monday, December 10, 2007

Ah, Murphy...

You're a funny guy. I always liked the subtleness to his humor.

He always takes a while to wake up (DEFINITELY NOT a morning doggie), so typically I get up, make some coffee, get in the shower, check my email, etc. etc. and am ready by the time he decides to drag his ass out of bed.

Normal routine today. Coffee brewing, I giggle as I'm picking out my clothes because he's now snoring, curled up on my pillow ensuring the entire bed is now covered in dog hair. Clothes in hand, I jump in the shower.

While I'm drying myself, I peek at him. Still in the same place. I step to where I have my clothes, and nearly break my neck stepping on an empty food bowl. He looks up, yawns, and gives me this look as if to say, "Good morn... What? My food bowl? Now HOW did THAT get THERE?"

Now I want to point out at this time that his bowls are downstairs. So when I get in the shower, he apparently got up, went downstairs, grabbed his bowl, carried it upstairs, put it down where he knew I would step on it, get back into bed in the same place and position on the bed and pretended to go to sleep.

Yeah.

He's a funny guy.


Saturday, December 8, 2007

Wow

'nuff said.

AAAAAAAAAAAND DUN

...with holiday shopping.

almost.

HO FRIGGIN HO

I only have 2 more things to buy, but they're quick and I know exactly what I'm getting.

Now I'm going to be materialistic here for a sec.

Want to point out that being single sucks as far as the gift-giving goes. Now, before you say anything, let me point out that I KNOW it's about the giving, and the sharing. Not the getting.

But sheesh.


Let me put it in numbers. In my family alone, there are ten people to buy for. My folks, both sisters and their husbands, plus both have two kids apiece. In exchange, I'll most likely be getting four gifts. One from each of the "families," one from my parents, and my Dad will most likely be getting me something extra, usually a gag gift. Now it was worse when I was married, mostly because Jean's family was HUGE. We're talking seven kids and ten adults on her side alone.

I also want to point out that I make the least amount of money out of all of them (by a LOT), including my Dad who's been retired for seventeen years. So as usual, I go deep into debt each holiday, and the rest of the family makes out like a bandit.

To top it all off, I'm a kickass gift buyer. And it's not the money either. I don't play the "spend equal amounts on everyone" game either. That doesn't do a damn thing. They usually love the gifts, and rarely return them (I can only think of once in the last 5 years).

It's hard not playing the "compare game."

After this year, I'm going to talk to them about it. Once I get my business up and running, it shouldn't be too much of an issue, but until then I can't hang. Problem is, I know what my family will say. "Just get the kids something." Yeah. That'll happen. Might as well not show up at all.

So all in all, including the gifts for my closest friends, I've spent over $600. And I'll get about $100 worth of gifts, most of which I may not use (from personal experience). I try to not think about it in those terms, but when I look at my credit card balance, it's hard to not.


Oh, and if any of my family has located my blog, two words: Gift Cards. It's not that I don't dig what you give me, and I feel that they're impersonal as well. BUT, I'm pretty picky about the stuff I need, including clothes, electronics, and toys. And my kitchen is overflowing, so I don't need anything there (kitchen gadgets have always been a safe bet with me). It's okay. Really. That's what I want.

And a pony.

With rockets.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Making Your Own Charcoal Briquettes For Fun And Profit

Looking for a business idea?

By following these steps, you can make charcoal briquettes in your own home with little effort...

(Trust me. It works! I accomplished this last night.)

  1. Stay out late at a friend's.
  2. Come home, grab yourself a drink, turn on some cartoons and relax on the sofa.
  3. Around 1 am, decide you're a bit hungry.
  4. Preheat the oven to 400°
  5. Put in some frozen chicken nuggets (the brand doesn't matter, but I prefer Tyson).
  6. Set the timer for 10 minutes.
  7. Grab another drink, and kick back on the couch again.
  8. Fall asleep.

That's it.

I woke up at around 6:30, impressed with the smell permeating through my place, and a slight haze in the air.

But at least now I'm ready for a BBQ.

Monday, December 3, 2007

In At The Wire

I know I told ChaCha Happy Birfday, but I didn't post.

Yet.


So here you are.


Speaking Of Karma...

I made a birthday dinner for ChaCha last night. We sat around, drank wine, talked, and played with the dawg.

At one point we went upstairs so I could show her something online. We came back downstairs so she can scarf down some more shrimp. But the shrimp were gone, and Murphy was sitting there looking innocent, content, and happy, apparently in the hopes that we would not think twice about the fact that five shrimp mysteriously vanished along with about six tails.

But the shrimp were gone.

The bacon-wrapped shrimp.

The JALAPENO and bacon-wrapped shrimp.

Karma's a funny thing.

Anyway, I was awakened at about 4:30 this morning by a cold nose on my cheek and a soft whimper. He needed to go out. Badly.

I didn't even have to give him an "I told you so" as he was a hurtin' cowpoke. Even after he did his "business," you could tell that he was not enjoying life very much.

Of course you know, he didn't learn a damn thing from this experience.

Sunday, December 2, 2007

For ChaCha

This is kinda old, but it cracks me up every time I see it.

MMMMM, Bacon...