I'm a criminal.
That's right, stay away from me or I'll steal you blind.
I stole something last night. Not going to tell you where from as it could be used in court, but it starts with "T" and rhymes with Farget.
I had to pick up some things, most importantly ChaCha's BDay present, which turned out to be (at her request) stuff for Toys For Tots. I don't normally use a basket, because that just invites me to spend way too much.
Now the first thing I picked up was a pair of sunglasses. What happens to the 40,000 pairs I seem to lose each year is a matter for debate at the folks at NASA. But anyway, I pick up some ok ones, and when my hands start filling up, I decide to put the glasses in the buttonhole of my shirt, thinking NOBODY would miss that, especially with the poster-sized tags hanging off of them at odd angles. So I was wandering around the store, my hands full of goodies, none the wiser.
Not only had I forgotten about them, but the cashier missed them as well as the uniformed security guard who held the door open for me as I was leaving.
As I got in the car, I noticed them as I put on my seatbelt and drove away.
And there I was, a criminal who got away from the scene of the crime, a master thief.
(Or Ill-Booten Gotty)