Caffeine-addled ramblings, rants, and random thoughts about my life in pursuit of utter awesomeness and general kickassery.

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Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Thoughts About the $1.5B Powerball Drawing Tonight

Not sure why I'm bothering making a promise here since nobody knows where this site is yet, but anyhoo...

Discussion at work today about the typical "what if you win?" situation about the powerball drawing. Now I know the odds and know it's idiotic, but I bought a ticket. So by my calculations, if I win (cash option) I'll get approx $420 million after taxes. If shared, half that, etc.

So what if I win?

Well... I'll probably keep around $5 mil to save/invest, maybe another 2-3 to splurge. Another couple to pay for my family's mortgages, education for my nephews and nieces, etc. The rest I'll give away.


Not in the "here, have a check" way, but there are so many charities that can do so much with that money. And need it. I'm sure I'll be smart about it and set up a trust or foundation or something so I can keep giving for all eternity. Being super-rich doesn't appeal to me. Making the world a better place is. After a certain level, what's the point of having more?

There. I've committed myself.

And outed myself as a progressive.


OK, Let's See How Long This Lasts This Time

Feel like writing again.

It's weird, because I've been neglecting this blog for so long. Not because I haven't had anything to say or that nothing's going on in my life. Quite the contrary. You know when you get a voice mail or text from someone, and there's no rush so you don't reply right away? Then you get distracted with life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness (or simple procrastination). Then it gets to the point that you can't return the call because it's been way to long to reply without it being awkward? That's sorta how I feel about this blog.

I won't even bother with giving a full update right now, other than to say I'm now at a new job in Atlanta.

Oh, and because I was slacking off so much I let my waitingforcoffee domain expire. It was picked up by a squatter so I don't know if I want to fight that battle. In the meantime, this blog has been moved to However, if you're reading this then you already know and redundant statement is redundant.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

HAHAHAHA! Well played

To the person who previously stayed in an Orange county hotel, room 312...

You managed to program the thermostat to turn to 45 degrees at 7PM every night. That was effin HILARIOUS. Let me know who you are. I want to give you a high five.

In the face.

With a brick. 

Saturday, November 16, 2013

The Long Goodbye

This will probably be my last post on this blog. Not saying much since I haven't posted in over a year and a half, but wanted to use this semi-anon forum to pass some sad news.

Murphy passed away in my arms yesterday. He was a trooper until the end.

RIP little man.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Countdown to 10K: Day Three

Circuit: Run 1 min, Walk 2 min (Repeat X10)
Success Level: 6/10
Pain level: Getting kneecapped by Tony Soprano
Doggie excitement level: 9/10

The rain stopped in the afternoon, so it was time for the doggie to join me. The first 2 cycles were ok, but the shin splints started early. I was in severe pain and was only half-assed running on the third one. It was one of those weird runs that was only mildly faster than walking. I skipped the run and walked intervals 4, 7, & 9. Murphy was dragging me the whole way.

It'll get better. I'm sure of it.

I think Murphy hopes so too. He was snoring 30 seconds after we got home.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Countdown to 10K: Day Two

Circuit: Walk 30 min
Success Level: 10/10
Pain level: Binge drinking
Doggie excitement level: 1/10

I was not as sore as I thought I would be. My legs did feel a little heavy and rubbery. I'm really glad I didn't have to run today.

It was raining today, so Murphy's excitement waned a bit when he realized he wasn't going along. I went to the gym instead, so I replaced the 30 minute walk with 20 minutes on the treadmill and 10 minutes on the elliptical death machine.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Countdown to 10K: Day One

Circuit: Run 1 min, Walk 2 min (Repeat X10)
Success Level: 8/10
Pain level: For all that is good and holy on this planet, someone shoot me.
Doggie excitement level: 10/10

Since the plan I got started on a Monday, I decided to just jump right into it when I got home. My pooch looked at me with disbelief when I went into my closet and dusted off my running shoes. Then the realization hit him.


He knows that when I put on those shoes we're up for something involving him. He was almost vibrating. I swear if he got any more excited he would have time-traveled. So I got the leash and he ran full speed into the door with a solid thunk. Luckily he absorbed the entire impact with his brain, so there was no damage.

I decided my best bet was to do my circuit across the street in the Dell parking lot. It's usually deserted because, well, all of their employees are in Bangalore. Plus the brief walk across my complex and across the street would be appropriate for a warmup and an opportunity for Murphy to "lighten the load," as it were.

I started the timer and I was off.
Min 1: Run (Piece of cake.)
Min 2-3: Walk (Already?)
Min 4: Run (Still not too bad.)
Min 5-6: Walk (Want to keep running, but sticking with the plan.)
Min 7: Run (Still ok, but landed wrong on a step and felt a little twinge.)
Min 8-9: Walk (Slowing down made me feel the first little pain.)
Min 10: Run like a teenage girl in an 80s splatter movie.
Min 11-12: Walk (waiting for this one.)
Min 13: Run like a teenage girl in an 80s splatter movie after she falls the second time
Min 14-15: Walk (Wait. How many more?)
Min 16: Run (are my shins supposed to be bursting into flames?)
Min 17-18: Walk (actually stopped for a second to put my tibia back.)
Min 19: Run (I couldn't even qualify for the special olympics right now.)
Min 20-21: Walk (Realize the pain hasn't really hit. Until now.)
Min 22: Run (Look for a cab.)
Min 23-24: Walk (Even Murphy is dragging ass.)
Min 25: Screw the run. I'm skipping this one.
Min 26-27: Walk (Turn back towards home.)
Min 28: Run (While technically correct, it was more or less a fast zombie walk.)
Min 29-30: Drag my ass home.

I had never been happier to get upstairs. Murphy made it almost a foot inside the door before passing out.

Day one... check.

Running For My Life

I'm sore.

Sore because I started running again. The 35th Capitol 10K is March 25th, and since I hadn't run it in a couple of years I decided to bite the bullet and get back into shape. That means I have 8 weeks to get into shape well enough so officials don't think I'm having a full seizure down the route. The last time I ran it my friends were adamant that I was imagining it, but I swear the standby ambulance was following me.

Also the Mighty Texas Dog Walk is 2 weeks after, so running/walking with the pooch will train his lazy ass as well.

So I decided to train. I looked around and found an 8-week beginner's running plan on RunnersWorld, apparently designed by Nazi war doctors. To be honest it's kind of reasonable, although it requires a 6 day/week schedule. Regardless, I've never backed away from a challenge, so have at it.

Here's my plan.
I took the program, and like any proper geek put it together in an Excel file. It's available here, in case anyone cares.

To add to the geekiness, I downloaded the Impetus Android app for my phone.
I looked at quite a few and chose this for a few reasons. First, it's free. It's very configurable as an interval trainer, and since most of the days involve "Run x minutes/Walk x minutes, repeat X times," it's quite easy to work it out. Secondly, it will actually mute my music at the designated time, so I don't miss the signal during a bitchin' guitar solo.

Now all it takes is to get my ass off the couch and do it.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Nailed it.

Ok, New Year's Resolution #312. Start blogging again.

I was sent a link to my name on Urban Dictionary. Here are a few of the definitions; all from the first page. I didn't dare read past it (There are 60 total).


"The name Brian is of Celtic origin and means; Strength and Honor. He is a very intelligent guy, who keeps his priorities straight and is extremely well rounded. Not only is he smart, but he is athletic, handsome, sexy, funny, and a great guy to hang out around. Trust me his somewhat klutzy personality can be funny when he plays the role/ He can often be very dramatic, in the good way. He is one of those guys that you can just share about anything with. He instantly just gains your trust. He is very reliable. Brian will always be there for a friend, no matter what the conditions. Brian is very creative and loves to contribute ideas. He has dreams of changing the world, and making it a better place for all to live. He is always true to who he is. He is a natural born leader, who can lead a group of people yet still have time for each individual. Only the lucky girls will get to be in a relationship with this guy, but anyone can be his friend.

"Man isn't he dreamy. He is such a Brian."

"That's my best bud right there. He is the greatest Brian ever."

"Everyone bow down to the Brian."

"Only a Brian can save all of humanity".

"He just pulled a Brian."

2. Brian

1. A guy who's heart is captured by the same girl always yet lives his life as if she didn't exist when she's not around.
2. Term for the best guy friend conversationalist. Someone you can vent to an actually get feedback and opinions.
3. A reliable "lean on me" kinda friend

1. "God, he's really in denial about that girl---he's acting like a Brian."
2. She thanked him for listening and named him her Brian.
3. "You've been such a Brian to me since I met you. Thanks for always being there for me."

3. Brian

A highly intelligent guy who is handsome, funny, sexy, a great kisser, and is hung like a horse. Basically the TOTAL PACKAGE! A guy that every woman wants to be with, but only the hot ones get the privilege of having him.

Woman: I’m the luckiest woman in the world…

Her Girlfriend: Why is that?

Woman: Because… I have a Brian!

Her Girlfriend: Damn girl… You are lucky… Can we share him?

Woman: Sure!! Sounds like fun… He’s hung like a horse, so there’s plenty to go around!!

Her Girlfriend: Great!! Let’s go get started then…

4. Brian

An intelligent, sexy, well rounded guy. Can be shy at times, but is liked by mostly everyone. He is lay back, but is a natural born determined leader of the masses, if only he can get over his fear of success. He is ambitious, but is also very prone to laziness. A Brian is often labeled as arrogant, but when you get to really know him, you'll find out he's just timid. Brians are nurturers, protectors, and appreciators of humanity. As partners, Brians see femininity as part of themselves, as a result, Brians find it incredibly easy to please the lady in their life. Brians are adored by women, and are often prone to promiscuity, unless a person of equal wit and intelligence keeps them interested. As lovers, Brians take the award as sex-machines, period! Brians are intimately affectionate, passionate intense lovers. Sex with a brian is like awakening an unknown side of yourself, so make sure you fasten your seat belt! And I MUST say again, Brians are INTENSE lovers, and will quickly learn which buttons to press, when & where; and rapidly understand your bodies language of pleasure.
A Brian can also be very mistrusting of others, and as shy observers, can come off as antisocial. Brians can be prone to depression, social disconnection and have a tendency to enjoy alcohol to the point of self-destruction. Negatively, Brians can be truly despised by close friends. Because Brians are very intelligent, they are good at getting revenge, and can be cold-hearted sarcastic assholes!

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Halloweenie! (or, the Pumpkin is a Lie)

I know it's been a while and I have a lot of catching up to do, but gotta start somewhere.

Been trying to figure out what to do with my Jack-o-lanterns this year. And I figured I'll stick with a Portal theme, since I'm making my 5th run through Portal 2 at the moment.

Plenty of ideas there too. Wheatley was a bit ambitious, so I stuck with the companion cube and turret.

(Self-Serving commentary: I really like how the turret turned out)

This looks so much better IRL. For some reason Jacko's don't photo well.

Happy Halloween!